I recently came across an interesting post that outlines strategies for supporting your child through their journey in youth sports. While the information is designed to assist those with children in sport, a lot of what is mentioned also relates to how parents can support their children through the schooling years.

For both reasons, I thought it would be of interest. I have essentially taken what I read and added some insights from my experience, as well as to better suit our College community. I also believe that they needed to create an awesome acronym and have included a point that essentially reiterates one made previously. I’m sure we’ve all seen this before!

P – Patience: Trust the Long-Term Process.

Youth sports is a long game. Don’t make decisions based on what is happening now. Don’t panic when your child isn’t in the top team, getting the most minutes or dominating at an early age. Children develop at different ages, and particularly at a youth level there is a huge difference in ability from year to year.

What does Patience look like?

• Understand that struggles, setbacks and slower progress are part of the journey.
• Don’t overreact to bad games or seasons where your child struggles. Keeping them in the sport is the number 1 priority.
• Your child has many years to reach their potential. Reaching their ceiling isn’t determined at 10, 12 or even 16 years old. In fact, I will draw upon an example from my world – the world of baseball. Travis Bazzana was taken with the first overall pick in the USA draft last year. He is the first Aussie to be picked #1. The Australian U19 team coach said that he was a good player but was never on the radar and would possibly struggle to even be picked in the USA Draft at all when the team competed in the U19 World Cup. His most significant phase of skill development came at 19 years old...
• Bottom line – kids have years to get better. It’s a process. Don’t get in their way!

I – Insight: Understand the Bigger Picture.

Focus on effort and don’t overact to things that happen now. Everything that happens today can positively affect the future. Understand that our failures fuel our success and how we feel when we succeed.

What does Insight look like?

• It’s your job to ensure what happens today positively affects the future. I have seen many parent’s actions impact the future for their child in a negative way.
• Ask growth-minded questions after games: “What did you enjoy today?” “What did you learn?” Instead of “Did you win?” “What’s one thing you did better today than in a past match?” Instead of “How many points/goals did you score?”

V – Vision: Focus on Growth, Not Success.

Don’t chase status over substance. Unless a club has a successful team due to superior coaching, don’t you want your child playing against that team?

Seeking out personal coaches may be an excellent idea, but does it make a busy schedule even busier? Does your child want to be involved in this sport 5 times a week? We don’t need to have the finger on the fast forward button from a young age. I’m all for extra involvement but be conscious of what this does to your child. Ask yourself, ‘Are we making decisions based on what actually develops my child, or just looks good on paper?’

What does Vision look like?

• Encouraging steady and consistent improvement over time instead of short-term wins.
• Ask yourself, ‘Are we making decisions based on what actually develops my child, or just looks good on paper?’
• Focus on aspects of the sport, rather than becoming a complete player immediately. Improve one little thing as a goal and the rest can wait until a future date. Getting better at one thing fuels confidence, which improves motivation, which aids enjoyment, which increases participation…it’s a cascading effect that can make a huge difference.
• Help your child set growth-based goals, such as: ‘I want to become a better teammate and more vocal during matches.’ and ‘I want to ensure I am involving all of my teammates.’

O – Ownership: Letting Your Child Take the Lead

The best thing you can do to let for your child’s long-term success is to let them own their journey. They should be in charge. If you over-manage them or put too much pressure on them to perform, you take away the fun of sport. Let them play. Let them have fun and understand that this is their journey, not yours.

What does Ownership look like?

• Let your child set their own goals.
• Encourage them to communicate with their coaches instead of you stepping in for them.
• Explicitly tell them that they are in charge of taking responsibility for getting their equipment ready for games, that they are in charge of their attitude and that they control their preparation.

T – Trust: Believing in the Process.

Don’t operate in a world of fear. Fear of your child missing out on a team. Fear of not getting to play a certain position. It is good for children to face adversity, learn new positions, not be the #1 player in a team, etc. Trust that this is helping in the long run.

What does Trust look like?

• Trust that coaches do their job to the best of their ability instead of questioning every move they make. There are times when a youth coach may not be as fantastic as you had hoped, and I’m not saying that there is never a time to step in and have a conversation with a coach. Just ensure that you are open to the coach’s opinion and don’t allow your desire for your child to dominate a sport to cloud the fact that coaches may have a clearer view of where your child needs to improve.
• Finally, trust that the elements of PIVOT require you to step BACK more often than step IN.

In summary, you may already do all elements of PIVOT well. There may be 1 or 2 elements that you can get better at managing. 

If nothing else, it’s a good reminder. It’s important to remember that a child who ends up with too much pressure to be excellent right now may end up worse off in the long run. And the long run is what should matter.

It’s their journey. Don’t create an environment that takes away from their experience. Eventually, kids will realise the effects of a pressure-filled environment and quit. And that is one of the greatest tragedies in youth sports.